What goes 15 miles per hour, runs twice around the block and then ends in lousy food being eaten in 90 degree heat with complete slobs who have no kindness, soul, intellect or wit of any kind amongst them, you ask? Why it’s our ATV parade coming up this Saturday!
Decorate your adult Big Wheels with a bunch of crap from Hobby Lobby and come one, come all. Even those of you that are customers in our mostly illegal vacation rental operations. Yes, you! Come on down to the community road, in between leaving lit cigarettes in the woods, trapsing through private property or taking phone pics of people in their yards who thought they had moved into a private, rural community but now realize they are surrounded by complete strangers and mini-motels. Or just sit on the side of the road and cheer on the neighbors, taking photos you can post on your Facebook page to make it look like you are participating in something real. Not!
Traditionally, on the Fourth, children are supposed to enjoy things like this, but here at Crosstimber Ranch we are all so infantile in our mental development and interpersonal skills that we figured why not ‘lean in’ to this utter immaturity and take all the kid stuff for ourselves? That’s the spirit! Are we having fun yet?
Crosstimber Chronicle 
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