Crosstimber Chronicle

OUR HEARTS BREAK TO SAY GOODBYE

***

In Crosstimber Ranch, where the elk do roam,

Sam and Terry moved from California to build their cheap, shabby home.

Mrs. Sam ran the HOA with lots of wine and half a brain;

Tried to gut the CC&Rs and poured our budget down the drain.

Let an owner run a sober-living house right out of his garage,

Homeless drunks wandered the neighborhood like some Skid Row mirage.

She let the Super Creepy Super AirBnB Host destroy our privacy.

Because she drank wine with the guy and never learned to read.

It’s right in Idaho Law that his motel is not allowed. But Sam was a destructive dunce that would have made Shiva proud.

She made decisions out of spite and in drunken rages. She even once shut down the Crosstimber Ranch Facebook pages.

***

Now Terry, he played at hunting and guns. Shot an apple-tame elk who never even tried to run.

Used a tractor to remove her from the woods like a fagg*t,

Then stuffed the carcass in his trashcan which was soon full of maggots.

***

Now these two are off to Tucson: Arizona’s gang-infested town,

These shitbirds will fit right in and good riddance to such clowns.

May the desert heat bake both their worthless hides,

and take the destruction they brought here out like the tide.

Garden Valley smiles again, there is peace in our souls.

Farewell to Sam and Terry and all of their holes.